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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?